A space Ramires and Kanté loved to dart into, then again Kiernan Dewsbury Hall would be unfit to train in the same 5 a side team than them and kills the move

The less said about Malo Gusto LW (was playing Champions League winner Ben Chilwell prehistoric football, or just another flip flop)

Dewsbury sells himself up the river, only makes the pitch because he shares the same agent as the head coach anyway.

Another good movement from Shim

Ball goes to his left shoulder, so he goes to his right shoulder ; backtracking

He’s open to receive a potential Caicedo pass, which is on

Until Caicedo chases his first touch, adds two more to square it

A good effort to track back

Tries to spin

Rides the first challenge going hip first which allows him to stay on his feet

Multitasking is often the challenge, Shim’s left arm should’ve been stronger to push the defenders’ chest off balance, then set his left leg then move the ball with his right.

Gets moved off the ball, but still did more than Marc Guiu ever did in 200+ minutes in the competition (until he tumbled on the ball and injured himself).

Shim Mheuka has gravitas, and is *rapid*

Palmer who acts as a defacto right back most games (because fullbacks are better in number 10 areas, said nobody, ever)

Shim creates the space between the lines with a good arc run between the CBs

Lyon Academy coaches stopped the Gusto LW gimmick before the pandemic, Rudi Garcia walked the talk just like he did with Debuchy, Bouna Sarr, Maxwell Cornet (all of which would play tier 3 football as of now) by moving them to right back.

Little they knew there would be another pandemic with a contamination cluster of ideologues dreaming about 100pts team – who’ll see Liverpool lift the Premier League on their own turf (whilst they’re taking 10pts in 10 games).

Shim stays between the CBs

Darts near post in case Gusto beats his man, which he obviously doesn’t because he’s a right back.

Shim appears at the near post on line with the front post, which is good box movement

And usually a challenge with quick strikers (who don’t move so well in the box on crosses)

Mheuka pinning the defensive line

Caicedo who’s a frankly average defender, average box to box squeezes in on Palmer’s space (rule #1 is to get away from the carrier to let him carry, and in case he can’t, pop up in the space with intent).

Caicedo blocks the passing lane to a KDH open

Agüero was exceptional at making 3 or 4 runs to prepare the final one, behind the CBs.

That’s what Shim is doing, run across the CBs and behind the CB forgetting himself.

So that he can set up another run (yellow) and receive towards the penalty spot

Palmer volleus the 0.02xG effort which wouldn’t look out of place in the Sidemen match, nor would Vincenzo Maresca coaching them.

1.6 B and that’s the only threat at goal against a Danish team heavily rotated.

11 minutes in, what’s so important that wasn’t told pre game, or was so irrelevant that it didn’t stick in the build up of the game so let’s give it another go to see if the same action produces the same effect.

Weird, unique situation. 8 year contract offered by people who bet their career on them, coached by a 5 year contract asking for whatever; both not going anywhere.

“yes, sure, whatever I guess?”

I watched you play for Wigan in midfield

Agreeing with Frank Lampard?

Southgate, Tuchel and Jody Morris. That’s fine. But that’s not “your idea” Vincenzo.

Tosin can’t really pass, likes to fire cinderblocks between the lines, this one crashes on the CB

A good reflex seeing George and KDH are out of position, Shim tracks the DM

Badiashile pumps a long ball on Gusto (after over one minute of baiting a press that did not bite)

Mheuka is interesting in the sense that quick forwards aren’t always keen on second balls (usually they’re on their bike so that the second ball winner launches them)

Shim’s got the technical composure to delay his second touch (does it often with the U21s) to change direction because he’s very dynamic

However his third touch is going away from defenders, he’s attacking the space and it would have made sense to commit a defender (then change direction)

If Shim attacks diagonally, he can shift at the last moment to draw a foul (with two quick touches in succession)

Touch is a bit heavy, square so gets knocked off the ball

Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall is a mediocre footballer, a glorified mid 2000s left back and not half as good as Ian Harte or Stephen Warnock.

Kicks the ball up the field down the channel

Guess who gets yanked at half time? The one who doesn’t share the agent with the head coach

Shim’s double movement off the front

Is quality from a S&C standpoint, blocks cleanly (no little parasite hop off balance)

Changes his footing smoothy to land the left where he wants to run

Sprints in the other direction.

This is an explosive action involving strength and change of direction, that it’s not recommended to do two days back to back. 48h are required to recover properly.

Dewsbury’s touch is terrible, maybe he’s playing in crocs.

Then fails to connect, not by over hitting but aiming for the defender’s toes.

Maresca said:

Why would you mention players and let the audience draw silly causation conclusions, without having the guts to say you believe you couldn’t create a chance because of the two kids upfront, that prevent you to satiate your high managerial standards and ambition?

Who wants to play for this guy? Estevao?

Hope the pay package is decent, or that he asks to get an exit clause like Cole Palmer.

If he moves better than Scott Sinclair, he might be looking for a new club already.

Actual trophy winner Joe Cole could see through Maresca’s bullshit (because that is) and calls a spade a spade:

Yes, it’s a harsh assessment, just like throwing a 17 year old under the bus to explain why the 1.6 B squad is unable to create 0.03 xG in the first half (they created 0.02 which is 0.01 inferior according to my data drivel calculations) against a Copenhagen side who didn’t even register their best players.

25 minutes in, even nitpicking and breaking down movement, Shim moved well and service didn’t come through Gusto (who injured himself getting walked on when failing to win a 1v1) and Dewsbury-Hall – who according to Maresca was not calm about his situation of being a human training cone.

Chelsea posted a training tidbit where Palmer nutmegs Dewsbury twice in a row and laughs at him – this how low the bunch of amateurs running the show dragged the standards.

Dewsbury had a good game? No he fucking did not.

Unless there’s different KPI, such as the ones they’ll have to find in an easter egg when they’ll have to explain why Chelsea couldn’t clear the 60 points bar in the league.

Get off your high horses, come down from Strawberry Hill.

Everyone should know their place, but it doesn’t mean people’s intelligence can be insulted when the quotes in the presser are a complete mismatch with the reality.

We watch the games and we see players dribbling out of bounds.

Joe Cole calls a spade a spade. Maresca holds double standards between a 26 year old who played 179 minutes in Premier League after a £35.000.000 transfer; compared to one of the most promising 9s in the country where he’s coaching.

Sugarcoating the shambolic decision to “sign Dewsbury to release Maresca” (someone got dogwalked in the negociations with Leicester, couldn’t be Paul Winstanley or Lawrence Stewart) can be understood, only if Mheuka’s cameo is treated in the same manner and analysed as it should be, or as it is in that newsletter.

Actions speak louder than words.

These are Lucy Ward’s

Joe Cole + Lucy Ward vs Vincenzo Maresca “dis was a controlled first half”

The Dane tested the goalkeeper a handful of times, and Palmer lashed out on a volley out of frustration. Controlling what? A psyop? There’s a dozen blue tick accounts on payroll to tweet about “underlying metrics” at the same time using the same wording.

Said metrics are either 6ft under the spreadsheet, or outright lying.

On this one:

Shim might have wanted to go more ball far, so that his diagonal run across would end up at the penalty spot.

His run brings him closer to the corner of the box, and the defender who already figured out how quick Shim is decides to stretch the space between the line (no depth, no depth coverage – or less)

Trevoh’s line breaker

Shim is more of a runner in behind.

Technical benchmark not quite hit to layoff, with shoulders too far behind over the ball

Which makes the layoff jump

Dewsbury is a mediocre footballer – again

Any box to box worth his salt drives diagonally to commit the defender or beat him and get a foul

Tumbles on the ball towards the corner flag

To be knocked off the ball

Yep. Falls over

Football is a blanket problem or a ressource allocation. if you pile up players to fuck about at the back, that’s less players in attack.

1.6 on the pitch to send missiles with the two Cobham attackers brave enough to stand in the opposition half.

Unworkable pass around the corner from Badiashile

Badiashile (like Trevoh and Colwill) has the character to break the system and go back to front when needed when the “shot build up” is marked out (and Cucurella, Gusto etc… aren’t the guys you want back to goal in centre circle anyway)

On this sequence, Shim also anticipating the reverse pass to Palmer to make the run across

Palmer x Maresca is the most outrageous player carry job in the past decade in PL.

Sarri with Hazard, Bale with Villas Boas were actually excellent at retaining the ball and not conceding transitions. Maresca; a whole of nothingness, and Palmer gets triple marked (who’s marking attackers who have 11 goals in 6 seaasons of PL)

Palmer brushed off the ball

This one is where Mheuka could’ve been wiser to try to attack the cross instead

Difficult conclusion to draw: Shim’s better off a wall pass 9 (especially at 17, what kind of squad building is this?)

Ideally he could receive into feet, trademark turn and take on the CBs

But that leaves “Dewsbury” to attack a cross in the air (what kind of squad building is this)

I, writer, am irrelevant here. I’m watching the game as it unfolded.

I’m apalled

A Dewsbury reception

Not much space for the diagonal run

Possibly banana drag towards his right shoulder than reverse pass with his right.

Squaring it for a white player is just shambolic

Reece able to connect a progressive pass to Palmer, inverted right back

Passing lane is well shut down by the DM (hopefully Enzo Fernandez paid attention)

Pass ends up with 150 million of talent playing Looney Tunes football

Caicedo’s flick misses Dewsbury for a good yard

Dewsbury (who’s not very good) could’ve been useful for the Football League special: winger drops off the front pulling a fullback, then striker makes the channel run.

Ideally, Dewsbury either

• back to nearest touchline ready to receive

• Decoy run off the front line to drag the marker out of position

Shim identifies the space created by Dewsbury

Who immediately decides to clog that space, despite a 5 yard deficit and lack of pace

Which means the channel open a second before, isn’t anymore and there’s another Maresca Soldier obstructing the space towards good attackers (this is why Palmer and Nkunku are coasting)

Caicedo’s Jorginho arc. Not very good either, the clip is woefully off the mark and caught by the GK

Copenhagen cottoned up Chelsea would play tiki taka (don’t take the bait) then revert to hopeless clips over the top (just don’t offer depth, drop a few yards) which also leaves the “pockets” open for Caicedo, Dewsbury to fumble their touch between the lines

Same moments later

Caicedo off balance; clipping a pass on the defender’s chest:

Mentioned above:

Dewsbury fumbling his touch (thankfully not the match bonus to complete 90’. Thanks coach)

Cucurella: 2 career assists. Higher bounce back rate than bank card scams.

Reece James’ cross

Shim does okay acknowledging he’s not gonna reach it so takes a yard back to potentially flick the flick

Half time; Maresca yanks Shim Mheuka.

When it comes to service:

• Gusto had a stinker, and hooked. Didn’t put one single cross

• Dewsbury had a stinker (not hooked, we know why).

• Caicedo couldn’t connect with the front line

• Palmer had people in the way

What do you say to a U17 striker ahead of his full first team debut

First start for a 17 year old striker who likes to turn and shoot, get on the ball, make runs.

My roadmap or list of tasks would be:

Yes, “my”, your alternative being to click on that button.

• Hang around between the CBs

• Stay on the ball far CB

• Make 2 or 3 runs per attacking move to stay in prime locations, not so interested to see you digging a trench at the corner flag because you spend your time ball side

• Make runs to stretch the defence

• Get involved off the front if you feel like it, but it’s not a priority

• Be alive in the box, never flat footed

• Make sure to keep an eye on the DMs if we’re bypassed

As far as I’m concerned: Shim hit every benchmark and made about 20 runs in behind the defence, which in the modern landscape is a rarity (every striker wants the ball into feet, Rashford being the good yet mildly annoying example of it).

This isn’t retro-engineering.

This is litterally what I’d ask to my quick chaos merchant U19 striker in 2020-21

Chaos merchant

Also called “Mateta” so the cognitive dissonance with the Mateta Mania at the moment is still very strong.

After a few matchdays in 2020-21, he had as many “Man of the Match” (voted by coaches) as Xavi Simons in U19 National League.

Hang around between the CBs (it was his first competitive game for about a year after a freak knee injury sustained in 2019-20 ; so a big reason why he was still there).

Winning the penalty to lead 0-1 at the best team in Western France in opening day.

Something we’d take advantage of: pin the backline, and do the most of deliveries between GK and last man

3 minutes in, away at Brest (the tip of Brittany) after winning 4-0 at Angers.

More or less the “ball around the corner” worked on during the week.

Striker stands on the ball far CB ready to make the run across

And on the subject of making diagonal runs (and the quality of a first touch).

0-3 inside 30 minutes, it’s a wrap.

Then, France decided it was a bigger concern to fold competitions in case the football catches covid (could’ve put a PPE mask on the ball), than to look what companies were doing with the “technical furlough” money (80% of wages paid by the welfare state).

Load Management

Aristide did wonderful to beat the schedule after a freak injury sustained in 2019-20, to work during lockdown. Covid management policies could’ve deterred many players (some of them turned up in pre-season out of shape ahead of 2020-21).

Shim Mheuka is 17 and a half (October 2007), and played

• UEFA Conference League on Thursday

• Premier League 2 on Friday

Aristide was then 17 and a half too at the start of 2020-21 (January 2003)

I was careful before giving Aristide back to back 90s

Dembo only missed opening at Nantes on Sunday, because he played away with the B team on the Saturday and we decided for 2020-21 to not do “Away-Away” on Saturday / Sundays

Players are allowed to play 135’ per week end from U18 as long as they only come on at Senior level in second half.

45’ with the B team on Saturday, and start in National U19 on Sunday

– and I also because I wanted / had to launch Owen in U19 National League vs Nantes (left)

They then shared the pitch vs Le Mans (right)

Owen is professional and racking up 7.0 green cards on SofaScore on a weekly basis

Dembo is Guinea international and professional in Belgium loaned by Lorient

The First Team was extremely keen to have 3 fullbacks in the first team (in case the first 2 get injured – only to finish 15th or something in 2020-21 with the biggest budget in tier 3) which disrupted the squad building and pathways – that not only make sense, but also, if you don’t like creating pathways or making money what the fuck are you doing in football.

Too many players is kinda bad, not enough players lead to over reliance on the same players like Shim Mheuka (Chelsea).

Aristide played 20 minutes vs “La Chataigneraie” (how French can you sound) on Saturday night and scored the 90’ winner.

Bira played for Rennes and Barnet, Bamo is pro at Montpellier (after Lorient, and Marseille and plays for Cote d’Ivoire)

Cottereau / Paul and Sofiane are top of the league in tier 4 ahead of Bordeaux.

Kevin plays Champions League football for Feyenoord, Ludéric is on the books at Dunkerque who’re gonna get promotion to Ligue 1

Bench has Dembo who’s international

These players played a grand total of 15 games, probably 14 of them for Dembo at first team level.

If you don’t like money, what the fuck are you doing.

---

The next day, I kept Aristide on the bench and only played him 20’ at Chateauroux (2-2) as I was cautious to ease him back in the team, with August/September being a moment to manage as they all re-started high school.

He did what he does best: getting defenders sent off

Speaking of technical benchmark to lay off:

Shim’s approach (leaning backwards, layoff jumps off his foot)

Shoulders over the ball = layoff doesn’t bounce

Slips a bit though

Dump, and run in behind

Breaking the spreadsheet

Aristide was breaking spreadsheets in 2020-21 in U19 League.

5 goals in 4 games once he found a run of form, and 3 penalties won in 9 games.

5 goals in 20 shots, 25% conversion.

5 goals out of 2.9 xG, all from open play.

The magic to find runners who can finish behind the backline instead of overcomplicating three touches finishes in a packed box with cutbacks.

Which put us at a unhinged 55% accuracy and 20% conversion at team level

Starting games to knock opponents out.

28% efficiency from the 18 shots between minute 15-30

Just don’t get behind, and Aristide was key to make the most of the first chance of the game.

Like at Angers to draw a penalty after 3 minutes in the 4-0 win (a few weeks before they’d play UEFA Youth League vs Red Star Belgrade)

I’d then have to carefully manage the 70-80 minutes ahead on the score.

Aristide moved to EA Guingamp (Ligue 2) at the end of 2020-21 season.

Spent a few year at YDP with PSG, then Versailles.

Aristide was then called up for Democratic Republic of Congo U20 in early 2022, as well as U20 AFCON qualifiers.

His dad also played for DR Congo’s “Leopards” which was his surname.

Bottom row, third player from the right.

Aristide might get traction at some point, and get closer to double digits, or be a Ligue 2 wing back.

He’s the fastest player I’ve coached, and there’s always room for them especially in lower divisions on their way up.

Are you resilient, well mannered, with standout football qualities.

Everyone’s got their own journey ; and this is my small contribution in terms of setting up the conditions to platform his abilities.

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